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Posted by on June 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

The 2face Experience

Hmmmm……….this title has been buzzing through my head ever since the beginning of the event. Problem was this………….What exactly was a ‘’2face Experience’’? From the beginning of this year, there had been sightings on both Facebook and Twitter raving about the Tuface concert, live in Ukraine. I have to admit that I was among the bandwagon of folks who were skeptical about the authenticity of this news. However, I decided to take the news with a pinch of salt and kept tabs on it. Shortly after the HYP.E. Awards, the promo towards the event was in full scale. ‘’Well I’ll be…’’ were my first thoughts. This was actually happening. Just when I was trying to figure out which city was going to profit me better, the organizers contacted me and requested my services as a VJ. Now never in a million years did I think I would be conducting red carpet interviews. Now looks like I have something else to put in my resume. The months turned into days and eventually turned into hours. I found myself on yet another journey as I embarked on the trip to Kyiv where the welcome party would be held in honor of Tuface. I was looking forward to a swell time.

May 4th, 2011. 4:45am- I found myself alongside Yomidee, a rookie in the Black Ukraine music sector, at the Bus station waiting patiently for one of the organizers to pick me. My suspicions were that they were still snoozing and gave them ample time by calling them on the hour after then. Eventually, 3 hours later, someone decided to pick their phone. Directions were given and I found myself in the residence of Kiev’s finest lyricist and co-founder of Capital Entertainment, Johnny Brasco aka Mr. Flipper. After the pleasantries were dispersed with, the organizers headed to the airport to pick Tuface while I freshened up. Let’s see what this night has to offer.

Later on that day. 10:00pm- Status bar was the venue for the party and I was looking forward to witness how the people of Kiev party. People trickled in 1s and 2s. However, by the time Tuface arrived, the place was just half filled. This baffled me a great deal. Why the low turn out I asked? It was then I was informed as to the various run in of Nigerian citizens with Tuface at the airport as well as the Embassy. I smiled when I heard this because once again, Naija folks had played the smart card by witnessing Tuface free of charge. Why would they pay 200 UAH to see him again? This really threw a damper on the party. Notwithstanding, in the famous words of Broadway great, Noel Coward, the show must go on. DJ Cole launched the party straight into dance mode, switching from naija songs to straight American RnB as well as popular old school jams. The ladies of Kiev sure know how to dance. The skills and moves that they showed on high heels, I have never seen any girl do on bare feet. If you didn’t know Gucciboy Prince before the event, the carving of his name on his head was enough to tell you. Later on, Tuface’s DJ, DJ Willy O hit the corner to dazzle for some minutes with his own style of spinning. All in all……the event went okay. Not what I was expecting though, but the stress of the arrival coupled with some inner circle stuff was kind of responsible for it. Hopefully, all will be different n the other cities.

May 6th, 2011. 6:30am- Getting down from the train, drained and pissed, I was looking forward to a soft bed and some food. Unlike the debacle back in Kiev, the organizers were prompt in picking us up from the train station. It could be due to the fact that the other passengers on the train with me were Gucciboy Prince, Kiev Footballer;Henry Nnamani as well as the Hypertek Band from the UK. We all got into our taxis and were headed to the hotel. I have no idea how they found this hotel because we spent close to 40 mins, if not more, getting there. If the distance didn’t perturb me, the name of the hotel got my eyebrows raised. Hotel Afrika. I was like ‘’Go Figure’’. This couldn’t have been more appropriate. The place was quite nice in retrospect. We were placed in different rooms and had time to freshen up and relax. After some time, I got mingling with the rest of the occupants of the hotel and tried to let OKITIKA do his thing. (To understand, go to my post ‘’Loco Sapien-An expose on me) There was a lot of bonding and sharing of stories of various experiences in entertainment handling going on. There were even a couple of Zimbabwean ladies who had been inculcated into the naija system. The fanfare and excitement was incredible as guest after guest filed into the location. By the time Lvov’s finest, DJ Anita and G’s Groove Entertainment boss; Gavin Nwokocha, stepped into the hotel, the atmosphere was exhilarating. ‘’The show sure holds promise’’ were the thoughts that clouded my head for the rest of the day.

Later that day. 9:00pm- Since I was bestowed with the task of red carpet duties, I was dressed and ready to head to the venue of the event. Club Holiday, which had the opportunity of hosting quite number of pro black events, was the centre of this historic experience in Kharkov. Without making an attempt to create a pun, the place did live up to its standards. It was totally festive like in the place. As I stepped into the club, I was immediately accosted by TMG Lord himself (……and when I mean immediately, I mean I didn’t even have an opportunity to admire the entrance). I was promptly taken to the ticketing area where I was given the hand tag for a VVIP. (Talk about levels……lol). Before I could head into the main dancing area where I would conduct my business, I got to hob-nob with quite a number of well wishers and ( I can’t believe I am saying this……) fans………..(its still feels weird saying it…..lol). On heading to the red carpet, I finally met, for the first …my co-VJ. Jennifer Willy was, and definitely still remains, a stunning beauty. (it is no doubt that I’m a whore, so…….FREE ME!! Lolzz). But honestly, I had no idea that I was going to be paired with such a gem. After exchanging pleasantries, we assigned ourselves as to how to conduct the affair. Basically………….we had fun! As she interviewed the guys and I interviewed the girls, (like I said…………Luluvich———-Whore supreme), we were able to make a lot of folks feel funky about themselves. One thing kept baffling me though……not a lot of people knew how to answer questions well. Let me rephrase that……….not a lot of Nigerians know how to answer questions well. One question that received very inaccurate answers was,’’ Describe Tuface in 1 word’’. People were giving speeches. Like seriously……..what the fudge?? As is cliché with any show, various artistes based in Ukraine had the opportunity to perform on the stage. Bee Smoke, one of the fastest up coming rapper in the east side of Ukraine, blessed the stage with 2 of his tracks; ‘’Good bad guy’’ and ‘’ Follow you go’’. No Culture gave some wonderful renditions on the stage as well as Alfa-Alfa, Kayman, and a couple of artistes that I could not witness while I was busy on the Red Carpet. 2 people that rocked the stage with flair were Buzzygirl Swaggz and JIDE aka Rufftunes. Buzzygirl gave us a performance paramount to the likes of EVE in the USA. She brought gangsta….and sexy into the mix. Talking of JIDE and amazing stage performance is like tautology. The dude was good UTUNU. However, I have to ask………..what is up with the people of Kharkov? They were like sitting statues!! No emotion, no applause …nothing!! That thing can kill morale you know. Before 2face finally decided to hit the stage, Seyi Shay, one of the rising Afro Pop stars in the UK, thrilled the crowd with her track, ‘’I’m loving your way’’. The rest of the world might call her Seyi Shay……….but I just love calling her ‘’The Lady Shay’’. In the words of Maya Angelou…………….she is a phenomenal lady.

Finally, the moment everyone was waiting for arrived. Innocent Ujah Idibia, aka Tuface aka 2baba hit the stage, kicking it off with a classic of his, ‘One Love’’. His amazing talent combined with the skills of the Hypertek Band made the show unbelievable. It was at par with the likes of shows held in the USA, UK as well as large Black communities in Canada and Malaysia. I was ecstatic. Before he even touched tracks from his current album, he blessed our ears with some wonderful classics. The crowd did not disappoint as well as they began singing along with him to a resounding crescendo. People who paid homage to this were Swoosh Team Members Geezie Fresh and Daibi, Daniel INT, Zimbabwean hotties Olga, Sharon and Missy Beats, String Ovation Boss; T-Boy Owolabi, Ternopol’s finest Model; Uchenna, Level 7 Entertainment representatives, Much Money Ent, Top Notch Ent amongst others. Tuface’s attempts at speaking Russian were amazing. (Unlike his debut trial on the promo camera where whoever taught him then, should have been sued.). Ironically, as he was performing ‘’Enter the place’’, that happened to be his exit song. Nevertheless, this didn’t deter the groove that had definitely been ignited by Tuface. Many got to the dance floor as DJ Stupid and DJ Icez thrilled them for the remainder of the show while Tuface was chilling in the VVIP corner with High Class guests as well as some of the organizers. The show eventually ended and Tuface and the crew headed back to the hotel. But that wasn’t the end for them. Back at the hotel, the party continued……..and Tuface definitely didn’t look at uche’s face.

May 8th, 2011. 6:00am- Arriving the Lugansk train station at the break of dawn, the last thing I wanted was to have a camera shoved in my face and pictures be taken. Like seriously…….who does that? (Wink). Anyways, I am not the star of this occasion, so I guess some things have to be done. At the entrance of station, a stretch Hummer jeep, waiting to pick Tuface and some other distinguished folks. Since I did not ‘’enter scale’’ on this one, I humbly took a taxi to the house that was tagged for the remainder of the period as the ‘’the 2Baba crib’’. It was so………………so……………….so………………..GREEN! (Must be a patriotic thingy). We all fed and got our nerves steadied. Tuface was having a ball as usual. He felt so much at home. (I know this because he said it……………..twice.) . A couple of hours later, I went to hang at the crib of Hypnotic’s finest (My extended family…..hehehe ). Another couple of hours passed and I had the pleasure of hanging out with the H1 Family. Believe me, I was having a lot of fun with my friends and loved ones right there in Lug city. I was intoxicated with it that I was not looking forward to going for the last show. I was already filled with enough ‘’2face Experience’’ to last me a long time. However …duty calls.

Later that day. 10:00pm- I feared that I had arrived dreadfully late and I didn’t want that tarnishing my professional side. I was surprised that I was 1 amongst 12-15 people, present at the venue. The location seemed outlandish. Sound Theater <> was big. As in really big! It just seemed to swallow up the whole crowd. My co-VJ for this city was none other than Ronke Nasifat. She was a pro when it comes to the run around of the red carpet. We made such a perfect combo on the red carpet and I loved every minute of it. All the ladies were warm and engaging (except for this one, whose name I will withhold, who behaved in an appalling manner. I mean for Pete sake, what the hell?). as I strolled into the opera hall to watch the program, that was when it just kicked off with performances. The first to storm the stage was The self acclaimed Hit Master , Mr Flo, G-Platinum records artiste, with his tunes; ‘’ Wa bamisere’’ and ‘’No be lie’’. The tunes were cool…….but he sure needs to clean up his act when it comes to stage performances. He dude has talent, but he sure needs a dose of Stage Charisma. He was shortly followed by DX Flyboi, another product from the G-Platinum family, who did his thing for the audience. Anticipation was written all over the faces of everyone in the crowd. ‘’Where is Tuface?’’ ‘’When will he perform?’’ were the thoughts swirling through their minds I guess. Although I was carried away with some discussions with a couple of friends, I couldn’t help but turn m head when Lugansk’s RnB diva, Aliciakia Lucy performed her premiere track, ‘’Don’t wanna leave’’, alongside Jide Rufftunes. The reaction from the crowd showed that she has definitely been accepted and recognized as a serious artiste. Jide later on performed his song, ‘’Microphone Tester’’, which as usual raised the roof , but the performance that brought the house crashing down was ‘’Ebano’’ by Lugansk’s favorite son……….Preachaz Son. Honestly………it was my first time witnessing his performance, and I have to say……..that dude knows how to rock a stage. Everybody was chanting his song. Even the girls couldn’t help shouting lines such as ‘’I see the way you whining girl’’, ‘’Wo le wa je ka shayo’’,’’ You make my little Johnson come out of his shell’’ amongst others. Seyi Shay did her thing as usual, with some of the sexiest dance moves I have seen in a while. Watching her sing, I was so waiting for when we were going to have more female artistes in Ukraine.

Finally, Tuface stormed the stage to show Lugansk the same love that he showed in Kharkov. People who were present to witness it were the entire H1 Family, The Hypnotic Boys, Flames Fashion critic; Dera Uzoaku , Jaguar Boss Lady; Efe Ohiozua, RoiEezy, Shola Brizzy, Kayzo, Henry Mic, Prince Adebowale, Gavin Nwokocha, DJ Anita, Gshot, Emilia Paslavskaya , Divas extraordinaire, Omire Anabel, Yvonne Okonkwo, Mute Akpomedaye, Aisha Atta amongst others. One thing I will never forget, was this tall fella who said….’’Tubaba is in the building….LEGOO!!’’ in the thickest of Ibadan accents ever. I nearly passed out. 2Baba sure gave us all a treat. The show ended in great fan fare with a promise of a closing dinner 2 days after the show. The dinner was amazing……….or so I heard (I was so tired, I couldn’t make it).

From Kiev to Kharkov and finally Lugansk, the experience was just…………….WOW! now I ask you again……What is a 2face experience? Tuface had some wise words he gave to me. (Yes people, I mean me personally…….we had a 1 on 1 dialogue) ‘’ Always represent. Never chase after another person’s level……strive hard and create your own definition of level’’. This humble superstar not only entertained me……he motivated me. …….*sigh*…….. The pleasure you feel when you have met one of the greatest Africans of your generation……that was what I felt…and still feel. I believe kudos are in order to be given to G-Platinum executives, Gbengs and Kachi Onyi, as well as PIXXON INTERNATIONAL member, Francis Gomez, for bringing this star to Black Ukraine. I don’t know about the rest of Ukraine………………but I had fun. And believe me………Tuface sure did. *winks*.
Till my next adventure, I remain yours………..Heb Cwyr™

 
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Posted by on June 5, 2011 in Party around town....

 

My First Radio Interview.

This is an excerpt given to me by Feel FM CEO ,of the Radio interview conducted on me a week in advance to the launching of the maiden edition of Flames Magazine. Have a look-see.(I wonder if I blew grammar that day…lol)

”INTRODUCTION

My full names are Oluwamuyiwa Olaoluwa Oluwafunminiyi, but for the benefit of easier pronunciation I’m known as ‘Lulu’.
I’m a writer and part of the editorial crew for flames magazine, we started a couple of months ago and we are having our official launching next week Saturday

ABOUT FLAMES MAGAZINE?

Flames magazine is the media formation of black Ukraine,we incorporate all students, especially those who have a particular celebrity status and present them to the rest of the world .

WHY NOW?

Well, initially the CEO, Prince Adebowale had this idea for a long time (March 2010) but being the crucial decision maker he is, he didn’t want to rush into things. Being an african student in Ukraine it takes time before talent is appreciated, talents have to be visible. Unknown to most people, he was actually on a look out for more people. By the end of september,we had a group of five ( Prince adebowale, Temi Desola who interviews various stars, Rosanwo Babatunde our media consultant , Uju Nwauwa our media host and myself)

WHAT’S THE INSPIRATION?

We noticed that there were a lot of students that seem to pass by and are not noticed. They might not like it, but they need us because no matter how good their talents might be if they don’t have people to propagate them, it’s never really appreciated.
The reason why Flames is here is because we want to propagate stars all around Ukraine as long as they are black.We want everyone to see what we have got here. Especially back at home they don’t really know much about stars here in Ukraine so we want to create an awareness all over the world.

CHALLENGES AND HOW FLAMES HANDLED IT?

firstly acceptance, we needed to be accepted by the stars themselves.We started by dropping little tips ,we needed to convince them that we meant real business.
next was Stress,a lot of traveling is involved to cover events. We were able to cover a lot of events from ternopil to lugansk, kharkov.It was really stressful but glory be to God we were able to wave it.

FUTURE EXPECTATIONS?

We call ourselves Flames media,the magazine is just a starting point and one of the outlets. We believe that in the next few months flames media is going all out and if the magazine is not enough we are going to step it up in March with talk shows , t.v broadcasting and others. The magazine is just the beginning.

ADVICE FOR CO-VISIONARIES?

The best thing I can say is what my dad tells me and that’s just going for it. The best thing you can do is put yourselves out there and obviously you are going to have haters or critics, its human nature.
I remember when I first started , I never really made it public until Sunny Naana gave me the inspiration to make it public. It makes me remember the parable of the talent, I’m not going to be like the last servant that hid the talent.
So don’t be the last servant be the other two,Let it out!”

Oh well, that is what it sounded like. I had to do some editing though. The typo’s in the draft could sink a ship 3 times the size and advanced technology of the Titanic. I know no one is above ”gbagaun”……but come on……This is one outlet that Lulu will get his shit together. (I sounded a little conceited there didn’t i?) . Oh well,i guess my climb to greatness is on a steady rise. More of this to come.
………………………………Heb Cwyr.

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Ballads of a Black Boy.

Now I ain’t trying to sound like a jerk,
But I’m cool,cruel,cute and cocky as Dr Burke.
Hanging out with me has a perk;
I’ll fly your enterprise like James Kirk.

Cupid Certified Professor,
I woo Mord-siths and Mother Confessors.
I’m the opposite of depression,
Because my ‘giving’ is your orgasmic expectation.

I’ve travelled high,I’ve travelled low.
All manners of position,All manners of Blow.
The white folks keep asking ”How is it that all this,you know?’
”Patience,my subjects. Just sit and enjoy the show”

First thing you is turn your Swag up.
Next thing you know,a chick says ‘what’s up?’

But before time is up and she decides to fuck up,
3 or 4 times, you could get her legs up.

Just get her soaked up,
Don’t get her knocked up.

Then after 5+ dates,she wants to break up,
That’s when you wise up.

Just tell her ”hands up”.
By the time she sees your junk up,she wants to make up.

In awe they look at Me,
The way I shine wonderfully.
Little did they know about my smile,
If they knew why, they would run a mile.

Yes i’m a ladies man, I’m also a business man.
I’m not a yahoo boy, I’m a Blackberry man.
I’m always present till shit hits the fan.
When you’re washing off the stink,i will be with ladies sipping on Cosmopolitan.

Women, wine and wealth, yeah that is my Motto.
Popping champagne like I just won a lotto.
I love rattatoullie as well as food cooked with Ajinomoto.
So when they all call Me,i’m there like ‘pronto’

I’m a legacy,I’m in history,
I am legend,who can crown that?
I’m no misery,i’m a mystery,
Now tell me who can tap that!

I may be your ‘bringer’ of joy,
Or I could be just another toy,
Believe Me,i will never be coy.
………… I am a Historical Black Boy.

………………………….. Heb Cwyr.

 
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Posted by on April 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Loco Sapien: An expose of me

What is the definition of a normal person? That is a person who lives according to the norms that life has proposed to us. Normal people differ all over the world because, the norms of life differ as well. The norms that apply to people in Africa can surely be a ”raised eyebrow” emotion in the middle east…….and vice versa. However,there are usually baseline similarities with all the norms which makes it quite perceptive of some people to identify a normal person. Anyone who doesn’t obey the ‘Law of Norms’ is termed as abnormal. We see abnormal people everyday. Some of them,we get to adapt and live with…….some are just plain ‘sickos’ and some are just at the very brink of bizarre. All my life,i have sometimes treaded the very brink of these so-called ‘norms’ and i have been verbally crucified for them. Call it psycho-babble or pure irrationalization,but i believe that these ‘verbal crucifixion’ are the reasons behind the very creation of what i like to call ‘Unified Multiple Personalities’. It is not a disorder (or so it seems for now),it is a pure mental creation of mine in which i control my various ideologies and experiences,and place them in different personas for easier management. Yes,right about now,you are thinking that this is all a whole lot of ‘BS’ coming from me,but i create these personas to attribute how i got through my very awkward adolescence. Each of my personas have a reason for their origin,so it makes it very astute why i don’t let them go. Oluwamuyiwa Olaoluwa Oyinde Olayele Oluwafunminiyi is basically a timid kid with a very wide imagiation………But when all the 8 personas kick in……..The timid kid ceases to exist……all you see is one persona with multiple desires and attributes.

OKITIKA (Strategist) : This was the first of my creations. it started when i was 11. Being a timid kid back in school was very counter-productive. I was picked on relentlessly by my peers on my awkward looks,my quiet demeanor and ,lame boy, attitude. I was distraught to say the least. So one day,when i was reading a copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare,i came across the phrase ”To be or not to be….that is the question’ in the play ‘Hamlet’. It was there that i came by a new philosophy…..If you can’t beat them,join them……..then try and beat them again. Hence Okitika(which happened to be my surname at the time) became more of an alter ego. He was very good at looking for the flaws in people and taking note. He became the harsh voice. He would look for ways to make them fall. So it was no surprise that 3 months after his creation,a guy came to me and as usual,went about with his belligerent tongue. Thats when Okitika kicked in. To cut a long story short,that guy was hated immensely after I was done with him. On discovering this new side of me…..I decided to put him in subdued mode until when needed. He comes out once in a while to have fun,but like the 9 Tail Demon fox inside Naruto,he is under lock and key.

Lord Loral(Snob): I have always deemed myself as a person who is very accommodating and very adaptive in any situation. However,growing up in Gbagada Phase 2 in Lagos gave me access to have a lot of rich spoilt kids as friends. Living amongst them required being like them. Being able to talk fancy,Think fancy and ultimately……Be fancy. Well,it was back to the blueprints for me…..and PRESTO!! Lord Loral was created. The ultimate snob,as i call him, is complete with free use of his eyebrows,contempt and disgust are used at will when needed and also built with a british accent. (Posh high-brow,central London british accent as used by butlers or people of fine breeding in england) I wasn’t as ‘bucks-up’ as them but I was the most revered….all thanks to his royal ‘snobbishness’.

LYNX(Adventurer): Now don’t go raising any eyebrows at me cause of the name………it has no correlation to Lynxxxx UTUNU!! I was surprised myself when he came to the limelight and he had that name. this was my nickname back in High school(yes i said it….high school) before it evolved to Lulu. LYNX was my daredevil. Being in a mission school such as Faith Academy,we needed to do some dangerously criminal stunts to get thrills from. Laolu couldn’t do it……but LYNX could. He loves travelling,Extreme sports,Parties and dancing. He can be the life of the party when needed. Anytime its required to get ”jiggy with it” on the dancefoolr…….it ain’t Laolu……its LYNX that you see. My dad being a party rider back in the day only goes to show that LYNX is just another alter ego of mine that is genetically engaged.

Ababio(Geek): This guy has been stuck with me since kindergarten. Not to blow my own horn but i have been a ‘know it all’ for quite some time. I just never gave him a name. When i changed schools from SFIS to Faith Academy, i had quite a reputation of being a whiz kid when it came to chemistry. It was like i had ‘New School Chemistry’ on my plate everyday. Hence i was dubbed by my colleagues,to the my initial detriment, as Ababio (after the author of New school Chemistry;Osei Yaw Ababio) Ababio is the very reason i am a success in Med school……and if you don’t believe it,I have 2 honorary awards for outstanding excellence with my name on it. ‘Geeky me’ has always been an irreplaceable part of me.

Alejandro(Flirt): I have always been an insatiable flirt……(as is every other specie of male homo sapiens on the face of the earth). I guess it comes from being a good writer. I actually say the right things to girls as and when due. One particular girl told me that one thing she admires on me is the fact that i actually listen to what they have to say and give her precise steps on how to resolve any matter. Well,to be honest, i wasn’t listening…….it was all Alejandro. The suave cool-headed human who is on a long life search to the ultimate questions ‘What do women want?’ . Alejandro’s skills have helped me escape quite some hitches due to being able to waylay the female persona. Alejandro made his debut appearance when i was 16 at the Lagos Country Club. Taking a dip in the pool,my eyes were assailed by this girl with amazing features. (30-19-32……….if you dig what it means *wink* ) All of a sudden,i was backtracking towards her location and the first words to pop out of my mouth were ”Even if we are just friends,i won’t mind……as long as i have to look at you all the time” Ripples of laughter spewed forth from her mouth like a burst pipeline……and that,was the birth of the Infamous Alejandro.

Pierre(Cuisine/Drink Expert): Although i was born and bred in Lagos,my parents are both originally from Ishua-Akoko,a settlement that,funny enough, sits exactly on the border between Ondo and Edo state. The dialect spoken there is also a weird mix of both Yoruba and Edo tongues. I guess that is what makes me look so un-yoruba. Anyways,It is a culture in that settlement that man must strive to be ‘the ultimate being’. He must be able to do all that is also required from a woman(except for the sex and giving birth part ) . With that in mind,men must be as formidable in the kitchen as women are. So even though i never took cooking classes or asked questions in the kitchen,i became an excellent chef. All i had to do was see how mum did it a couple of times and voila…….food is ready. When i came to Ukraine,i began trying out various experiments that mum wouldn’t dream of letting me undertake in her kitchen. Not too long after,i was concocting my own recipes and ,if i say so myself, they are just pure works of culinary art. It wasn’t long that i discovered that i had a high metabolism when it comes to alcohol,allowing me to consume high amounts of liquor without getting fucked up unless i pass my ‘threshold’ after hanging out with a couple of my foreign friends,i was introduced to the art of identifying premium liquors and amazing wine lists. So,i just pity the wife that would say she would starve me because I didn’t give her money for ‘Mary Kay’,she will only succeed on being ‘on a long thing’

Sergei(Linguistics): I have recently discovered that i am widely known as an individual who uses cumbersome and unequivocal lexical grammar patterns( ha h haha….. couldn’t help myself) Well after living with my dad for the most part of my life,watching insane amounts of movies and tv series and reading over 500 novels (yes…..i do count them.) amongst other journals,magazines and books,it is no small surprise that this alter ego was created. Language,i initially thought,wasn’t my strong suit until i came to Ukraine. Yoruba language,that i always had trouble speaking back home,became fluent and free on my lips. Shortly after,I became quite fluent in Russian and Ukrainian,Had about 50 % knowledge of spanish,a little of high school french that helps me in very distraught situations and I’m currently learning German and Japanese. Also,i became very intone in being able to mimic voices,accents and lisp. Seriously speaking,if i had a future as a voice over for cartoon characters or even in acting……it would be all thanks to Sergei.

Lulu(Weirdo) : Now we come to the individual that is widely known amongst y’all……………..The dude that makes freak and crazy sound like fun. Anytime and any day. Lulu is all about the unimaginable,the weird and the mischief. Lulu has always been with me since the first day that sperm drove his liquid Bugatti straight into the ovum. I believe he is actually my first alter ego. He just wasn’t ripe yet for the harsh conditions i was in at that time. If i do anything crazy….just know that Lulu had a hand in it.
It has been quite fun baring out myself for you all to see. One thing i assure you of is that,this is not the first signs of onset of mental failure………far from it,my mental psych has never been better. As far as I am concerned,crazy is great………..normal is just plain boring. Now I’m sure some of you might ask ‘why all this alter egos?’ . Well,i have always had a reason to express myself in various ways. It isn’t like i have identity crisis or something………..I just feel that there is more to the Legend of Lulu than just one being.
After all…………………….i’m not in a straight jacket yet:)
………………………………………………………….Heb Cwyr

 
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Posted by on April 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

formspring.me

Ask me anything……………..tell me anything……it would be anonymous. http://www.formspring.me/Luluwords

http://www.formspring.me/Luluwords

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

A letter to my First Valentine.

”Can we be together like before??” (She said)

Dear B. ,

Now I aint trying to diss you or miss you,
Only want dismiss you and probably kiss you,
and maybe get a little chance to piss you off.

I know we living in reality,
where everything is judged by clarity,
but maybe I can cash in on my very own insanity.

I don’t wanna make up,
I’m fed up cos every time you fuck up,
So dress up and watch as I’m chucking them deuces up.

Baby girl,this isn’t maybe,
This is a definite goodbye B. ,
It’s showing you that what would be,will be.

I thought it was passion all day long,
I thought it was listening to silly love songs,
I even thought it was gonna be locking of lips and tongue.

I must have been Lulu in wonderland,
When you held my face in your hand,
And said my voice was like a string quartet band.

Damn was I gullible,
or maybe your words were so inaudible,
No,i fell for you…..and it was incredible.

I knew I was out of your league,
I knew I wasn’t the type of guy that you would dig,
So was it because you heard that ”it” was big??

You were beauty and i was the geek,
If this was the states,i sure as hell won’t be Greek,
I still remember those words…”It is you i seek” .

You said you would love to be with me,
You said we would be 2 and 3,
So what in the world did I do to make you flee?

Teddy in hand and chocolates in a bag,
I came to your crib in Lag,
But what I saw nearly made me gag.

You on top with your head thrown back,
His hands firmly stuck on your rack,
I just stared and couldn’t say jack.

I was surprised how I got home that day,
but when I got home,on my bed I lay,
While wondering what exactly to say.

Next day in school, you had already moved on,
I was the lame fool who on his own,
My little rep had fatally blown.

Many years passed and I evolved,
Around me,big things began to revolve,
While the lame boy began to dissolve.

You began to bug me like a pest,
Telling me i was your best,
That you were just trying out the rest.

You said that you were young and stupid,
The young part may be lucid,
But you were on point about being stupid.

I ain’t saying I was the best that happened to you,
Or that i would be fun by the power of 2,
Just tell me this,do you know what you put me through??

Girl ,can’t you see?
You did this to me,
You broke up with me.

Your actions were like a dart,
You tore me apart,
You broke my very heart.

To answer your question,
About your strange affection,
and your apparent attraction.

Getting back with you will be possible,
As possible as ”Living without a heart” possible,
As possible as ”Hell freezing over” possible.

So when you wake up to the morning sun,
after all your tasteless and cruel fun,
Just know this sweetheart…………….I won.

From the one that got away,
Okitika…….(Now better known as Lulu)

……………………………….Heb Cwyr™

 
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Posted by on February 17, 2011 in Uncategorized